Its got to that point where i feel i should have a boyfriend, i get lonely and feel so unattractive i know there are loads of people in this same situation, what am i doing wrong?, am i too traditional? But then again i think of my dreams and aspirations and feel 'you know what a relationship will just get in the way'. I really don't know what to do. I've always seen myself as somewhat career minded but being at university and away from my home roots i tend to get lonely dispite having friends around me. Do i really need a boyfriend? or do i need to find a hobby to distract myself?

I always think in ways of the romantic film when a male and a female are sat in a bar/ library/ cafe etc and their eyes meet, they smile , he walks over (or she times change) and they talk, about culture (books films the arts) they then exchange numbers and decide to meet again... why is life not at all like this? its always seems to be girl and guy in a club , they are both pissed, they kiss, kiss again and they go home with each other... that's not something i really fancy to be honest. If i have to wait for that romantic moment then i will, i would prefer to get to know somebody before anything. i guess i think of life to much as a film, I seem to think in scripts ever since i was told i have a talent with writing, i will always disagree I lack so much belief in myself, but i guess most people do to be honest we are our worst critics.

I'm finally getting somewhere with the guitar, 6 years and i can finally play. i'm no Brian May or Jimi Hendrix (infact no where near) I have only been playing for 2 months but i am impressed with my progress, i even wrote a song it was originally about no one and besed on a load of facebook status updates from my friends but after a while i thought about it and i realised its the way i feel about this guy.(but i'll leave it at that). i managed to squeeze in my favourite chord which if you are at all interested is Cadd9.

I realised this is the first time i have blogged since i met Johnny Depp (which may i add was sooooooooo amazing haha) A lot has happened but i'm just going to try and start afresh with the whole blogging situation see where i takes me, you never know.

thats all from me for now i believe

love and hugs

S
x